By way of example:
- Five terrible fake Morrissey songs
- 1. Bachelor in a Casserole
2. The Swirling Clergyman’s Lament
3. St. Sebastian’s Disused Quiver
4. Dolorous Dolores
5. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind
- Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates
- 1. getting decent disability insurance
2. rum allergies
3. sexual harassment from that fancy new bosun
4. irritable bowel syndrome
5. finding one-legged pants that won’t make your hips look too broad
- Five things you did while MySpace was down
- 1. repeatedly checked progress of floppy emo forelock
2. wrote lengthy longhand list of “friends”; “de-friended” each by means of vigorous horizontal pen strokes
3. idly doodled “Dr. and Mrs. Good Charlotte” in margins of your Consumer Math book
4. cutting — again with the cutting
5. imagined own funeral (and how sad and sorry everyone will be)
I cannot endorse, however, spelling words with digits. Sorry.