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Wicker King

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List of Lists [19 Jan 2007|11:02am]
This site, which provides rather arbitrary lists of five items, slays me.

By way of example:
    Five terrible fake Morrissey songs
      1. Bachelor in a Casserole
      2. The Swirling Clergyman’s Lament
      3. St. Sebastian’s Disused Quiver
      4. Dolorous Dolores
      5. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind
    Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates
      1. getting decent disability insurance
      2. rum allergies
      3. sexual harassment from that fancy new bosun
      4. irritable bowel syndrome
      5. finding one-legged pants that won’t make your hips look too broad
    Five things you did while MySpace was down
      1. repeatedly checked progress of floppy emo forelock
      2. wrote lengthy longhand list of “friends”; “de-friended” each by means of vigorous horizontal pen strokes
      3. idly doodled “Dr. and Mrs. Good Charlotte” in margins of your Consumer Math book
      4. cutting — again with the cutting
      5. imagined own funeral (and how sad and sorry everyone will be)


I cannot endorse, however, spelling words with digits. Sorry.
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