Y A R K: The Blogging

January 31st, 2007

Hmmm. Be very, very afraid. (And I thought I was frightened before.)

Was Over Sea, Under Stone deemed too dull for a crowd of 2007 children?

Clicky to comic source.

(I'd also find someone who could do a better job with the text.)

Kurt Vonnegut has come unstuck in time.

:(

We have a (metric) ton of magnetic poetry bits on the fridge here at work, including a plethora of medieval and technological words. In my opinion, the following excerpt, proudly displayed in the kitchen, wins an award for something:

Perilous any lady that beseechest her lover
to tattoo the codpiece or pierce his man cluster

This site, which provides rather arbitrary lists of five items, slays me.

By way of example:

Five terrible fake Morrissey songs

1. Bachelor in a Casserole
2. The Swirling Clergyman’s Lament
3. St. Sebastian’s Disused Quiver
4. Dolorous Dolores
5. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind

Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates

1. getting decent disability insurance
2. rum allergies
3. sexual harassment from that fancy new bosun
4. irritable bowel syndrome
5. finding one-legged pants that won’t make your hips look too broad

Five things you did while MySpace was down

1. repeatedly checked progress of floppy emo forelock
2. wrote lengthy longhand list of “friends”; “de-friended” each by means of vigorous horizontal pen strokes
3. idly doodled “Dr. and Mrs. Good Charlotte” in margins of your Consumer Math book
4. cutting — again with the cutting
5. imagined own funeral (and how sad and sorry everyone will be)

I cannot endorse, however, spelling words with digits. Sorry.

1) Babylon - David Gray

Why?
...because, the oft dropped third verse really makes the song make sense
...because Gray's voice has a beautiful emotive quality to it
...because the melody is in a rather compressed vocal range, yet still seems to soar
Listen:
...to the lyric, "Let go your heart, let go your head, and feel it now" -- one of my favorite descriptions of breaking through an emotional wall

2) Band on the Run - Paul McCartney and Wings

Why?
...because I love the transition from the initial brooding lyric to the liberated body of the song
...because the chorus is so hooky, it should be illegal
...because there's some great lyrical imagery to unravel: we fell into the sun? What?
Listen:
...to one of the best songwriters in the history of Rock and Roll stretching out a bit

3) Beautiful Freak - Eels

Why?
...because you may have limited (read: Novocaine for the Soul) experience with Eels, and, in that case, you're really missing out
...because E carries a tune well while still sounding like somebody took a belt sander to his vocal cords
...because too few people sing about freaks without sounding like, say, Marilyn Manson
Listen:
...to the awesome juxtaposition of simple, traditional-style melody and lyrics with a message of acceptance of the bizarre

4) Behind Closed Doors - Charlie Rich

Why?
...because I'm sick of hearing about people who "listen to everything except country and rap," or who think that country only means Shania Twain and/or that jackass who sings about putting a boot in the ass of foreign powers
...because Rich was a great, but terribly flawed, non-conformist in an age when country music was not very tolerant of differences
...because Rich always sounds like he means exactly what he's saying; if I were to choose a second version of America the Beautiful to push, it would be his
Listen:
...to the soft touch of The Silver Fox on the piano -- classic country keyboarding

21) Ana Ng - They Might be Giants

Why?
...because, outside of Particle Man, this was the first TMBG song I ever heard, I think
...because knowing it may save your ass in The Sorceress' Tower should you ever play Kingdom of Loathing
...because it's TMBG in a nutshell; if you don't like Ana Ng, you're probably not going to like anything else they do
Listen:
...to the cryptic, circular lyrics -- who was at the DuPont Pavillion? Why was the bench still warm? Who had been there?

22) Annie's Song - John Denver

Why?
...because it was "the song" at my wedding
...because John Denver is (extremely) unfairly dismissed by a large number of people as 70s schlock
...because Denver's melodies work with their lyrics better than just about anybody else's -- the two almost always feel part and parcel, indistinct
Listen:
...to one of the purest songs about love ever written

23) Aqualung - Jethro Tull

Why?
...because it has that classic guitar line
...because as uncofortable as the lyrics are, they're also wonderfully evocative
...because dynamics are important, damn it, and Tull seem to actually get that
Listen:
...to the transitions between themes; the song is unexpectedly complex for a radio hit

24) Asleep and Dreaming - The Magnetic Fields

Why?
...because if I don't point it out, who will?
...because The Magnetic Fields' harmonies are always gorgeously twisting
...because it's not even two minutes long -- if you don't like it, no harm, no foul
Listen:
...to all of these songs again. Maybe twice. :)

( Hope you enjoyed the list. Someday I'll get started on this B list I've had sitting around for ages now. ;) )

17) American Idiot - Green Day

Why?
...because I was wrong to write-off Green Day so quickly, lo, the many years ago
...because it has that great speed-hook, if you'll allow the term
...because it would be great fun to play in Guitar Hero
Listen:
...to a track off of today's generation's Tommy

18) American Tune - Simon & Garfunkel

Why?
...because I promise (threaten!) that there will be less Simon & Garfunkel in future lists, so you should get your fill now
...because I can't think of another writer who could write so wrenchingly about pilgrims
...because it's as meaningful today as it was when it was composed
Listen:
...to the great key change at the end of each verse

19) Amie - Damien Rice

Why?
...because if you don't know Rice yet, you're totally missing out
...because the string arrangement is gorgeous
...because Rice's voice sounds alternately so fragile and so powerful, so effortlessly
Listen:
...to the way the harmonies slowly fill in as the song progresses, taking us from sparse to lush

20) Amos Moses - Jerry Reed

Why?
...because every song on this list isn't a tear-jerker
...because Reed honestly sounds like he's having the time of his life in every song he performs
...because the lyrics are so delightfully absurd
Listen:
...to the guitar style -- nobody sounds like Jerry Reed

( one more A list to go... sooner or later. ;) )

Things I Like About Okra:

• The texture
• The smell
• The color
• The name

Ha ha, just kidding. Things I Actually Like About Okra:

• Nothing